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Strange Little Bird: Dear Post Office,
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Dear Post Office,

Over the course of your history, you have developed a bad rap. Everyone likes to bitch about you.

And it’s all your fault.

People aren’t just being petty. You really do suck beyond all reason.

I do realize you are all bitter government employees, and you feel that you are so mistreated that you are somehow completely justified in being complete assholes, however, I feel that I should inform you that many of us civilians also hate our jobs, but we manage to maintain at least a basic level of customer service most of the time.

Several weeks ago, my husband and I went to collect a package at the “ring bell for service” window. We could see you lurking back there through the crack in the door, and as such, we could see you gesturing to each other to be quiet and ignore the service bell. We could also see and hear you attempting to tippy toe around imperceptibly. You failed. So when my husband continued to ring the bell with growing impatience, and finally yelled, “I KNOW YOU’RE BACK THERE AND I’M NOT LEAVING UNTIL I GET MY PACKAGE,” you realized you had been bested and begrudgingly came to the window, with the half-assed excuse that you “were coming” all along.”

Right.

And day before yesterday you reaffirmed your worthlessness when I came in to mail a package to Canada at 4:57pm and was rudely and loudly informed that you were closed.

“Sorrywe’reclosed!!!! Use the APC.”

“It’s not 5:00 yet.”

“We’re closed. Sorry.”

“Don’t tell me you’re sorry, because you’re not.”

“Use the APC.”

“I would if this wasn’t going to Canada.”

“We’re closed.”

“And you’re sorry. Right. Whatever.”

So in closing, dear post office, I hate you. You are worthless to me.

XOXO,

SLB

Friday March 21, 2008
 

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